Do you just ever had one of those day where you think, Hey God are you sure you got that one right?  My four boys that I had so much hope in and faith that they would all make it.  The four that have touched so many people and made us believe that things do go right and good things happen.  Well Gilderson is gone.  He died last week.  Why he died I will never know.  Why he lived and began to get better and then die I will not know.  Why he suffered so much I will never know.  He went into town to have a doctor look at his knee that was giving him some problems.  The hospital admitted him not for the knee but for a 104+ fever.  He left here fine that morning.  In less than four hours he was near death.  The hospital kept him over night and put him on IV fluids.  The lady that I sent to stay with him kept trying to wake the nurses up during the night.  They were all sleeping.  His IV stopped dripping.  When the doctor arrived the next morning he removed the IV and told them to get our of the hospital.  He was in a coma by then and not responding to anything.  The lady returned to Cazale with Gilderson.  Gilderson’s body was still breathing but he was gone.  His fever was 104+ still.  He was have severe diar and was not responsive to anything.  Lori tried for over an hour to start an IV.  He was having seizures.  He died a few hours later.  What he died of we will never know.  Why the hospital kicked them to the curb with a dying child we will never know. 

I wrote several people who I knew really loved this little guy and let them know about his death.  I told Lori I was not planning to take anymore picture of the boys.  Just let it go. People just need to go on with there lives and not have to deal with the hardships of life that we have here in Haiti.  Right?   Many days I have become so numb to what happens.  A child dies this minute and there are many other fighting on beds right next to them for life.  There is no time for me to mourn, just no time.  Is that normal?  No of course not!  But if I sit to long and think about it I will miss the chance at another one waiting for an IV, a feeding tube, or a simple hug, or a smile to get them through.  We must press forward, it is the only way.

So this week I went over to the RC to get a picture of one of the boys.  He had graduated from the medika mamba program and I was needing to get a graduation picture of him.  When I went over I sat in the middle of the floor to get his picture.  Several of the older kids came over and were hanging on me and asking for kisses and hugs.  My attention was directed to them.  When I turned around to get the picture of the one child the ladies had all thee boys sitting there for there weekly picture.  I looked at them and two of them were laughing and playing.  I began to cry.  I do not cry often really I don’t but I cried for little Gilderson that day.  I cried when the other ones were laughing.  I cried for all the kids that do not make it.  The nannies were crying as well.  We all had an understanding that this is life.  We cannot and will not understand why these things happen.  We have to just go on and accept it.  Move forward and trust God that he is in control.  That he loved Gilderson just as much as he loves us and that it is okay.  We love God and we will choice to trust in Him.  After that I was happy I laughed with the boys and thanked God.  I thanked Him for allowing  me the opportunity to do what I do.  To sit in the middle of the hot RC and have 20 kids jumping all around you begging for a little love from you.  I thanked him for the ones that live and the ones that don’t.  I thanked him for the nannies that love the kids like their own.  I thanked him for the beds we have to lay the kids in.  I thanked Him for the sheets to cover the kids with.  I thanked him for all the blessings that we get.  I thanked Him for all of it.  The good days, the bad days, the blessed days, the hard days, the days that last 12, 14, 16  many hours long of work, and the days I get to sleep in for a few hours.  All of it.  Because you see without Him where would we be?  What could we do that would have lasting eternal value?  So we don’t really have a choice but to trust in Him and give it all to Him each and everyday. 

I look at these little boys, Dieuvlet, Peterly and Jonny and see a future for their lives.  A few months ago they were little boys that were just skin and bones.  They began to eat the medika mamba and drink their infant formula and their little stick bodies began to change.  They began to grow and they began to recover from their months of starving.  They are full of life now.  They are normal little boys that sit and play.  What the future holds for them…only God knows.  But today I am going to believe that He has great things planned for them.  Will you belive with me that He does?  Will you thank God today for all that he has done for you?  Will you thank Him that you have running water and do not have to walk miles to a water source?  Will you thank him that you have a car and do not have to carry a load of produce on your head up a mountain to get home?  Will you thank Him that you have food to feed your kids and food for you to eat?  Will you thank him please, because He has done so much for all of us and we should thank Him for it.  So today I leave you a picture of the three remaining boys.  Hoping so much for their future and believing that God is God and thats enough for me. 

Psalm 25:4-6 (New King James Version)

 ⁴ Show me Your ways, O LORD;
         Teach me Your paths.
 ⁵ Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
         For You are the God of my salvation;
         On You I wait all the day. 
      
 ⁶ Remember, O LORD, Your tender mercies and Your lovingkindnesses,
         For they are from of old.

Remember Jeanne?  My flood buddy from last year?  Guess what she is coming for a visit next week.  We are all so EXCITED!  We can’t wait to see her.  She is the one that made the first contact for us with Water Missions International.  They are the ones that have donated the water machine that is  pumping clean drinking water for all of us at RHFH and the local community. 

 Caroline spend 2 months with us.  We had so much fun together.  We laughed, we cried and we loved on lots of kids.  Guess what she is coming back at the end of December with her mom!    We can’t wait to see her again!  God is good! (Caroline in the pink shirt)

Jonas came in Aug of 2009 at 30 pounds.  He was suffering from kwashiorkor.  After being on the medika mamba program he lost some of his water weight and then gained some weight back.  He went home at 33 pounds.

Louvens came to the RC in December of 2008.  He was 7 months old and wed 9 pounds.  He went home this week at 22 pounds. 

Vierlgela was burned on her hand and it healed up nicely.  She went home this past week.

Mirlande came to the clinic in Sept of 2009.  She was suffering from kwashiorkor and weighed 26 pounds.  She was started on the medika mamba program.  She went home this week at 32 pounds.

Rakendy came to the clinic in March of 2009.  He weighed 16 pounds 12 ounces.  We have been searching for his family for several months now.  They came this week.  He went home at 26.5 pounds.

Notha came to the clinic in August with a huge infection on her leg.  She has been doing daily dressing changes and staying at the RC.  She is healed up and went home this week.

Notha after her food was cleaned up                        going home

Ronelson has been in the RC since April of 2009.  He weighed 15 pounds 12 ounces.  He went home this week at 24 pounds.

Psalm 104

 ^1-14 O my soul, bless God! God, my God, how great you are!
      beautifully, gloriously robed,
   Dressed up in sunshine,
      and all heaven stretched out for your tent.
   You built your palace on the ocean deeps,
      made a chariot out of clouds and took off on wind-wings.
   You commandeered winds as messengers,
      appointed fire and flame as ambassadors.
   You set earth on a firm foundation
      so that nothing can shake it, ever.
   You blanketed earth with ocean,
      covered the mountains with deep waters;
   Then you roared and the water ran away—
      your thunder crash put it to flight.
   Mountains pushed up, valleys spread out
      in the places you assigned them.
   You set boundaries between earth and sea;
      never again will earth be flooded.
   You started the springs and rivers,
      sent them flowing among the hills.
   All the wild animals now drink their fill,
      wild donkeys quench their thirst.
   Along the riverbanks the birds build nests,
      ravens make their voices heard.
   You water the mountains from your heavenly cisterns;
      earth is supplied with plenty of water.
   You make grass grow for the livestock,
      hay for the animals that plow the ground 

A few weeks ago someone called from the US Consult.  They asked what we needed for the RC and clinic.  They wanted a needs list.  We gave them one over the phone that day.  They said they would contact us by email.  We never got an email.  After a few days, we were convinced that they had called the wrong number.  They must have been looking for one someone else.  We did not really think about it again, until last Sunday.  We were having a big cleaning day in the RC we had removed everything from the kitchen and were bleaching everything down and had the hoses out hosing down the floors.   We looked up and saw several people coming in the gate.  They were a security group coming to check us out  for the visitors from the US consult.  They wanted to make sure that the area was secure for the US ambassadors wife and a generals wife that was coming to RHFH.  We were just a little stressed out!  So the next day there was a group of Haitian police that came.  They were checking out the area for security as well.  Someone called the day before to again confirm the visit.  They would have 30 to 35 minutes with us and would be bringing a few items for the kids.  So about 10 that morning a truck pulls up with all these supplies.  We unloaded everything to wait on the group that was coming.  They arrived about 30 minutes later.  They ended up staying about 1 hour.  It was a great time.  Each of them were very down to earth and asked a lot of questions about the kids and clinic.  It was a great visit.  The ambassador’s wife had her own security that walked around with her.

They brought lots of food for the kids in the RC.  Rice, milk, infant formula, oatmeal, oil, sugar, diapers, baby food were among the items donated.

Anna made this welcome sign the day before.

Giving the tour of the RC with the US ambassadors wife in the yellow shirt.

talking before the tour

Besides all the food for the kids they brought lots and lots of toys.  The kids were super excited! 

 We are so thankful for these extra blessing this month.  The kids are able to have 2 glasses of milk a day.  They even brought chocolate power to make chocolate milk. What fun!  They all have toys to play with …what a joy!  God is good!

Hi!  My name is Andre Jean.  My dad carried me down the mountain on a two-hour hike almost two weeks ago to the clinic.  I was very sick.  I could not sit up and my whole body was swollen with kwashiorkor.  I heard the nurses talking to my dad about how sick I was and that I needed to stay in the rescue center for a while.  I was a little scared to stay without my family but they told me they would come visit me often.

Since I could not sit up they put me in a bed.  The first few days I just slept most of the time.  Those gals, Lori, Licia and Anna helped me out.  They brought me lots of extra meat.  I think they thought I was extra special because they would sneak the extra meat in so the other kids would not see me getting more than they did  They sat and fed me and they loved me.  I began to feel stronger.

Last Sunday (25th) they began feeding me medika mamba.  I had a big bowl to eat everyday.  It was hard at first but each day I began to get stronger and feel better.  When I first came I could not walk.  After I began eating the mamba I had to pee a lot.  They told me this was good.  I would feel better once I got some of the water off my body. 

Today makes 9 days that I have been eating the medika mamba.  Every Saturday we get weighted to see how we are doing.  Guess what I lost 6.5 pounds of water.   I feel wonderful now!  I feel like a little boy again.  Today I went outside and played with the other boys and I rode a bike.  It was so fun!

Licia came and told me today that she was so happy that I was feeling better.  She says kids like me give her hope and strength to keep going.  She told me a story of a lady that ran for a long time to raise funds to buy the mamba and then she told me about a lot of you that helped make this program possible by donating funds.  I am so thankful to everyone.  I am going to try very hard to eat well and gain weight this week.

We have a proverb here in Haiti   it says Anpil Men Chay pa Lou meaning Many hands makes the burden (load) light.  I want to thank each of you for all coming together to save my life.  I am a miracle!

Our friends at Artist for Hope are having a Haiti hoedown and silent auction this coming Friday.  Check out their blog for details!    There will be a team of four coming in late November to visit RHFH for the first time.   We are all getting excited to meet our friends face to face.

Green eggs and ham or spam.  Somedays you just have to start out having fun!  Thanks Anna for making life fun and real! 

Imagine trying to expain to the staff what we were having for breakfast today.  They think white people are weird anyway so we did not want to dispoint them

Someone asked a few days ago why so many people have umbilical hernias here in Haiti.   Here is the medical stuff for umbilical hernia.   This is what I know about them, a remember no I’m not a nurse   Umbilical hernias are more predominant in the black race.  They are also more predominant in girls.  Most hernia resolve themselves before the child turns 5 years old.   In Haiti, with the hospitals that we work with, they do not repair an umbilical hernia until after they are five years old.  We have known of medical teams that come from other countries to Haiti that will perform these surgeries before the child is five years old.  Of course if the child is in danger and must have surgery they will do it at any age.  Many do not get surgery even after five because they would rather eat then get surgery to fix something that is not really a big deal to them.  I do not think it is more predominant in Haiti or third world countries.  I think that in more developed countries that a person would get surgery early and for that reason you do not see it often.   It has nothing to do with the way that the cords are tied at birth here. 

What do I do when a child is abandoned?

The first thing I do is look around for the parents or the person that was with the child.  Usually someone will remember the person that was with them.  You might just get this information.  She was a black lady in a flowered dress.  So you go outside and tell everyone to look for a black lady in a flowered dress. (you know there are a lot of white ladies walking around here: ) ) Then usually you will find someone who will say hey I saw a black lady get on a motorcycle and leave about 1 hour ago.  So once we know that the care giver is gone we call the local judge.  If he is working he comes down to the clinic or RC.  We have to leave the child is the same place that is was abandoned so that proper papers can be done.  We can not pick them up or change their clothes or move anything around them.  Once the judge is done with the papers he give us the permission to take the child into the RC.  We have had many abandoned children over the years that we have been here.  Several of them have been given back to their parents, or other family members.  Some have been put up for adoption, some have moved to other orphanages.  Each child is different.  I will do all that I can to keep a child out of a bad situation where there is abuse.  But I will do all that I can to keep a child with his birth family if that is the best choice for all parties.

This little girl was abandoned in the clinic yard on Tuesday morning.  She was found lying in the gravel beside where the patients wait to be seen.    Lori went out to the yard and saw her.  She began asking the patients if anyone knew who she was with.  Everyone said she had been lying there for hours.  Some remembered what the mother looked like.  We searched and searched but she was nowhere to be found.  She has hydrocephalus.  She appears to be blind.  She eats and drinks well and seems healthy otherwise.

When we took her over I wanted to talk to Deny (another child in the RC with hydrocephalus), but I become busy with something else.  Later that afternoon the nannies were feeding her  Deny went over to see her.  He told the nanny giving her a bath that he was so happy that I had went and found a sister for him.  He has been watching over her and making sure she is okay.  So sweet!  The staff named her this week-Denise.   Deny loves his new “sister”.

Emmanuel June 2007  3 pounds 11 ounces

November 2008 going home first time 20.5 pounds

March 2009 back in RC for the second time with kwashiorkor.  His lowest weight 17 pounds

Going home July 2009 23 pounds

Back in the RC for the third time at 19 pounds Oct 2009

This makes three times this little guy has been here.  His mother is dead.  I have been in contact with his uncle/dad ( sometimes he tells me he is the uncle and sometimes he is the dad)  Meaning he brings him sick and then I do not hear from him for months.  I talk and talk and have the nannies talk to the family.  We talk about what food are good to eat, what causes kwashiorkor, loving him etc.  When he came this time he  saw us and began crying and reaching for us.  I put him down to walk and he started pumping his little arms up and down and yelling.  He ran to the table where the kids were eating and took one of their bowls of food.  He started eating as fast as he could to get as much food in.  He was starving and was so excited to see food.  The lady that brought him did not really know him that well.  She said the family said to tell me that he did not want to eat any food that is why he was so skinny.  I looked at her and asked he to please go back to them and tell them what she had just witnessed. 

These are the hard times and difficult times to make decisions about what is best to do.  They are not taking care of him.  They do not come to visit him.  They leave him with neighbors and other family for days at a time.  They will not put him up for adoption.  I cannot keep him long-term that is just not what we are set up for. Is helping him for months at a time here and there really helping him.  Why get him better to return to a home life where no one seems to want him or love him.  Should I get really mean with the uncle/dad and tell him that he is going to die if he does not take care of him?  What if I make him mad and then he does not return later when he gets sick again.  How many times can his body take this?  Or maybe I should just tell him I have reached my limit and need to pull back some?  Sorry no room today for him, my beds are all full?  These thought are all running through my head today.   What would you do?