It is after 9pm. This is what awakes me in the room next to the office. The little boy died today. He was very malnourished and sick. He has been here a week. His name was Rodney. He refused to eat or drink. He talked to us. We put a feeding tube down and put an IV in. I did not have much hope that he would live. Just this AM he was asking for milk and drinking. I had hope that he would live when I saw this. He died around 5pm. I cannot get enough strength, force or anything that I need tonight to go in there with him and bath him and dress him and take a picture of him to give his mother. I am so very tired of this kind of death. The kind that just needed some love and food to make it all go away and not be a reality. I have done this for many years, but tonight I do not want to do it again. I want to go to bed and not think about it. I want to live in my own little world and forget all these things are all around me 24/7. I want to believe that their are people praying, there are people that care, there are people that love these babies so much. But tonight I just do not want to deal with this again.